We keep on hearing it. 2016 is the worst year, ever. The year of the reaper is taking our best. According to Trump, Mexico doesn’t send their best, but apparently, the Grim Reaper keeps taking the best, from everywhere. We’ve lost amazing musicians, fantastic actors, great writers, award winning comic book artists and creators, but we still have a gaggle of douches here on this planet that we’d totally love to trade in.

If you’re a comic book fan, you’ve been rocked by the terrible news that Steve Dillon (Preacher, Punisher, Hellblazer)  has passed away. Earlier we lost Darwyn Cooke (Catwoman, Richard Stark’s Parker, New Frontier) as well, and who knows who else might leave us by the year’s end.

And yet, we still have Donald Trump. Can we make a trade? How about Scott Baio? Yeah, they might both make us laugh at them, but that’s no reason to keep them around. Who do we have to call to make this happen?

So, those two would get us our comic greats back. Who do we go after for Prince, David Bowie and Lemmy? Yeah, I know Lemmy died in 2015, but it was so close to the end of the year that I think it counts. Besides, I’d trade probably half of the senate or congress just to get Lemmy back.

Oh man, Mike Pence has to have some value on the soule market. He’s a surefire hatemonger and would be the perfect person to trade-in to get someone we all love back. Mike Pence can leave and we can get Gene Wilder back! That sounds like such a sound and perfect deal to me.

Phife Dawg from A Tribe Called Quest is a tough one to lose, as well. Sorry, Rudy Giuliani, it’s time for you to go.

Really, we can clean house this way. Get back all the worthwhile humans, the talented and the best we’ve ever known. I have some cousins and friends I’d like to get back as well. Sure, you may not know them, but they’re definitely better than the garbage politicians, hate mongers, racists, misogynists, rapists and human monsters we have in or running for office. Come to think of it, those words could apply to just one person in a few cases.

So, Grim Reaper, buddy, baby. Can we make a deal?

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At the ripe, old age of 162 years, it is feared that the Republican Party has passed away in it’s sleep. After a post-depression identity crisis, the Republican Party looked to be having a momentary lapse of judgment, but it looks now like that was more like an aneurysm with some very serious and grave consequences.

Much like the Great Barrier Reef, Prince, David Bowie and so many beloved others that have come to meet the reaper in 2016, the Republican Party, too, looks to have had one last stand and let out it’s last breath.

We have not had any confirmation from those close to the potentially deceased, but just about every news outlet is reporting the demise of one of our national pillars. Even those flying under the banner of the GOP aren’t being acknowledged by many of those that were once part of it, anymore. It looks like some of the RINO (Republicans In Name Only) camp are trying to resuscitate it, but so far there has been no response or report of vital signs.

We expect that after family is notified we may finally get an official response to the media, a full time and cause of death as well as when and where services can be expected. Until then, let’s remember the good things that the Republican Party have brought us, like Abraham Lincoln, the Civil Rights Act, The 19th Amendment and the time that some guy threw a shoe at George W. Bush’s head.

Oh, the memories.

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Just about everyone is tired, fed-up and done with this entire election cycle. It’s been called a joke, appalling, deplorable, embarrassing and a farce. Most people aren’t happy with the final choices of Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton and the average outlook is grim. The United States could use a booster shot to the morale center, but the odds are against us. This all started a while ago, with the veritable cornucopia of ridiculousness that was our candidate selection process and it only seemed to get worse from there. The US Government, however, may have a solution, though it might be too little too late.

The USA is asking George R.R. Martin to re-script the election, from scratch, and wipe everyone out. In a hail of bullets, swords, knives and blood, we’d be back to a clean slate. It would be like we never heard the foolishness from Ben Carson about grain silos or Jim Webb basically crying about white people ignored in this country… to a room full of Democrats. You almost forgot about that one, right? Yeesh.

Before we got to this basket of deplorables or, as I like to call them, the choices so expendable, we had a full year and more of foolishness. It hasn’t ended yet and most likely won’t end after the election, either. We’ve got an other 4 to 8 years worth of stupidity coming our way, regardless of who is elected… so why not go back, try to erase all of that and put ourselves in a better place for some new choices.

Take them out! All of them!

That’s the decree and we sure hope good ole’ George can step up to bat. Maybe only slightly wound Bernie Sander, though. He’s a pretty decent guy. He doesn’t need to be taken out of the picture, entirely. We can still use him. That Mike Huckabee, though, let’s get him and Trump to a Red Wedding!

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They say a sequel can never be as good as the original, but there have been a few exceptions like Terminator 2, Aliens and of course World War 2. Well, the United States and Russia are preparing for a joint production that is going to knock everyone’s socks off. Boasting a huge all-star cast and a budget that has never before been seen in the theater of war, pre-production for Cold War 2: Electric Boogaloo is now under way!

This multi-level engagement is going to shock and awe people like never before. If all goes as planned, there will be a record number of deaths, destruction and property damage, all done without the will of the populace behind it. Yes, you heard that right. Neither the Russian civilians nor American citizens really want this to happen, but if and when it does, it promises to kill us in the thousands! Droves of people will be lining up to die for a cause they don’t really believe in as the usual military industrial complex leadership will make millions of dollars off of this potential blockbuster. Keep in mind however, this is just a working title. It is entire possible that the budget gets increased and the Cold War 2 winds up with a different name.

What would that name be? Well, if it winds up getting split into two features, which seems to be en vogue at the moment, we could be looking at a much longer, robust war with an ever larger cast of characters. We’re talking a franchise spanning crossover of a different beast. Yes, you guessed it, this could turn out to be World War 3: We Ain’t Fighting For Me. The speculation runs high and all the critics are already rearing up to to either love or hate it. I know one thing for sure, it’s going to be a huge hit in the south.

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