Congress has approved a measure to help subsidize the costs of running the US Government by allowing corporate sponsors to adorn the White House with their emblems. Sponsors will jockey for specific positions along the outside of the White House by bidding extremely high dollar amounts, based on their placement and size.

While the United States government has been running on corporate sponsors for decades, there never has been a physical acknowledgment of it in public view. Finally, we might actually start to see who is feeding money into our politics be watching the logos cycle through positions or be added and removed, all together. Unfortunately, this will not decrease our taxes.

The concept was envisioned thanks to years of the more brain dead congressmen watching NASCAR, though they never thought how this could potentially backfire. If an oil company places their logo in a prominent position on the White House and they have an oil tanker or rig leak into the ocean, does the President really want to have that on the outside of their building?

Terms to deal with such situations are still being worked on, but as of right now these plans are in stone, regardless of who is president. Analysts do suspect, however, that if Donald Trump becomes president, we can only expect to see Trump logos all around the White House.

The post White House To Be Subsidized By Corporate Sponsorship Starting In Fall Of 2017 first appeared on The Hoof And Trunk Post.

Anonymouse strikes again, as millions of websites, services and networks were taken offline on 10/21/2016. A systematic interruption of many huge, populated websites and social networks took internet trolls and victims by surprise.

“I was about to post the dankest meme I ever found and… I couldn’t. I felt so powerless, so vulnerable,” said Harold Nagy, an avid Facebook Group troll that uses the fake names Ham Bone, Spaz Bono and Harvey Banger.

Sandra Cummings, a Tusla Oklahoma native had other issues. “I needed to take out my rent money and I couldn’t. Because of how screwed up our economy is, and how horrible regular banks are, I use an internet only bank and none of the ATMs were working. Instead, I had to take a few guys out back and give handjobs to make the rent. Do you know how aggravating that is? I usually save that move for a new release of limited eye shadows at Sephora, not to pay my rent. I’m not a prostitute or something. The worst part was that I couldn’t even go on Reddit or Twitter to vent about it, or read any of Trump’s latest tweets.”

Multiple sources were taking credit for the large scale DDOS attack, but all signs point to Anonymouse being the real force behind the attack. Political posts, memes and rants were kept to a bare minimum as the average person resorted to the few sites that weren’t affected by the hacktivism, which were mostly porn sites.

The big takeaway from this was that while it may be business as usual for the average person, many people need internet garbage to pass their day, whether it be trolling others on social networks, porn or ridiculous satire websites that post fake news that seems more real than the actual news reported by major media conglomerates.

The post DDOS Attack Temporarily Spares Millions From Political Arguments first appeared on The Hoof And Trunk Post.

“Basket of Deplorables”

“Grab her by the pussy!”

“She’s a nasty woman.”

“We’re gonna build a wall!”

“What’s Aleppo?”

This was best of times for T-shirt designers while it was the worst of times for the rest of us, and it’s all coming to an end. With just mere weeks before election day, this historic campaign cycle has yielded an immeasurable treasure trove of quips, phrases and just really stupid words tied together that were so easy to just slap on a shirt and make a few bucks.

Fans of the free market economy were overjoyed, as screenprinters around the nation reared up to make the best and worst shirts for all political backgrounds available. If you wanted to go to a Trump rally with a shirt that said, “Jail her and nail her,” you could. If you wanted to go to a Hillary rally with a shirt that said, “I’m voting for someone who isn’t a complete moron,” you could! If you wanted to go to a Gary Johnson with a shirt that said, “Wait, where am I?” you could!

You could basically get anything you wanted and do anything you wanted, except for vote for the person you really wanted as president, because he wasn’t allowed to play with others.

Even the Green party had a great shirt that sold in droves, with “I’m with her. No, the other her.”

All of this, however, will be over very soon and the shirt sales will plummet. Back they will go to bootlegging aging rock bands shirts and selling them for 10 dollars at least 300 feet away from the venue. Back they will go to making shirts of both teams for the Super Bowl and hoping they can sell enough of them before the game, so they aren’t stuck with too many shirts from the losers.

The fun is over. The golden age of printing cash has come to a screeching halt and all the Tee shirt creators are sighing and crying over the dry spell that will now commence.

But there is a glimmer of hope. Depending on whoever becomes president, they will at least be able to continually print things that mock our new president in fabric. The phrases will be limited and it will be more like actually being part of an activist movement, but shirts will be sold. All is not lost, folks. All is not lost.

The post T-Shirt Designers Sad About Nearing End Of Ridiculous Election first appeared on The Hoof And Trunk Post.

You ignore them when they ask you for spare change. You walk right past them when they are on the floor, handmade sign in-hand, holding out their plastic Subway cup. You avoid the door they are holding for you when you leave Wendy’s, just so you don’t have to give them any money. However, they just might save your life.

This year, in New York and New Jersey, the homelessness “problem” has become a solution. As every other state is trying to figure out how to deal with the increase of vagrancy, thanks to rising costs of living, gentrification, no increase of the federal minimum wage, the stigma of mental illness or addiction and a for-profit healthcare industry, New York and New Jersey have found the solution: stop worrying about it.

As funds for homelessness prevention have either disappeared completely or decreased over time in both states, ignoring the homeless has become an official government response. It’s no longer just you who treats them like less-than-human creatures. As heartless as this sounds, there is some rhyme to their reason. With a decrease in funds for the police and the privatization of our civil servants, what a better way to save money than to just rely on the vigilance of the homeless. The higher derelict population we have, the more chances that they will find a bag full of explosives and alert the police, like what just happened in Elizabeth, New Jersey. If two homeless men hadn’t found the bag, it may have detonated and hurt so many people at the train station. Thanks to their intervention, they managed to mistakenly defuse the bomb and keep hundreds safe!

How about the case earlier this year at the New York Port Authority where one young homeless man overheard the ramblings of a man he was going to share some pot with and was able to alert the police and save their lives? He stopped a potential cop-killer from acting out his plans and may have saved countless others in the process. If it wasn’t for our homeless population, cases like this would never end in our favor. If we can’t have enough police on the streets or pay them enough to be everywhere, as it is, then we can at least be thankful that the homeless have our back, even when we don’t have theirs.

“The homeless are a valued asset in our fight against terrorism,” said Mayor Bill de Blasio. “We’re so lucky to have a city that has some of the richest companies here, with some of the highest paid executives and still also have one of the largest homeless populations in the United States. That contrast is what makes New York work and it is going to save a lot of lives. You call 911 when you know you need a life saved, but what happens when you don’t know it yet? The derelicts are there to save the day. They are our eyes and ears on the streets, because they are always on the streets and we like them there, just fine. What you call a homelessness problem we call a 24 hour neighborhood watch. You want us to stop homelessness? That’s ridiculous. You just can’t, but you can increase it, so that’s what we’re going to do. So please, when you walk passed them on the street, don’t give them any money or food, just look at them in the eye and say, ‘Thank you.’ That’s all they really need.”

The post Politicians Vow To Increase Homelessness Thanks To Vagrant Vigilance first appeared on The Hoof And Trunk Post.