Like Stephen Colbert before her, Hillary Clinton has called upon the internet to have fun with her campaign footage and just have wacky, zany fun with computer assisted imagery! You too can now place Hillary Clinton in front of any crowd, any setting and any scenery!

Do you want to see Hillary speaking at the Mos Eisley Cantina? You can make it happen! Do you want her to be addressing a crowd of Uruk Hai before the Battle of Helm’s Deep? Your dream can come true! Any possible situation is yours to make happen, provided you have the original green screen footage and technical know how to make it happen!

Once she makes the original footage available, it’s going to be a gonzo, fun time! The scenarios are going to be much more entertaining than her just addressing crowds of people that are reluctantly going to vote for her because they are too terrified of a Trump America. That’s no fun for anyone. Her speaking in front of a bunch of the seagulls from Finding Nemo that constantly repeat, “Mine!” is going to be the highlight of my day! I can’t wait to see what people come up with next! Heck, we could even see her in front of a crowd of people holding up Vote for Bernie or Trump/Pence signs! True hilarity, irony and comedy are all waiting on you!

The green screen footage of her addressing folks at  Coconut Creek, Florida is said to be coming out soon, so just hold on to your mice and get ready to do your best or worst! Let’s face it, though, we’d all rather be in front of a green screen than in Florida. Yeesh!

The post Hillary Clinton Issues Colbert Style Green Screen Challenge first appeared on The Hoof And Trunk Post.

If you’ve been paying attention to the last few days worth of news, you’ll notice that many political outlets have been release hypothetical voting maps based on a varying array of demographics, using census data, poll information and probably lots of hyperbolic nonsense that has no basis on factuality. Such sensational voting maps we saw were: “What if only white men voted?” and the wonderful “What if blacks and women were never allowed to vote?” which were essentially two ways of saying the same thing.

The major media outlets apparently have become so bored with actual voting data that they’ve decided to inundate us with hypothetical situations that will never happen unless we go back in time and change history to be much worse than it has already become.

In light of this wonderful new method of making up news on a slow news day, we’ve taken to creating a few voting maps of our own using no real information, statistics we completely made up and information that is as arbitrary as your poly-sci degree, since you’re still just an assistant manager at Staples.

First up: “What voting would look like if we painted all the states one color.”

This effective map shows just what kind of world we would live in if we sent thousands of airplanes into the sky and just dropped blue paint on everything. It’s a very effective map as you can see, it would totally really change the scope of every two colored map you’ve ever laid your eyes upon. All of those maps would now be full of useless, fake data, just like they already are.

 
Next up: “What Voting Looks Like Based On Which Crappy Song They Dance To At Weddings”

What really strikes us about this map, is that it is much like the actual current voting maps in that, no matter which state you’re in, you’re going to be goddamn miserable. Both of those songs are hot garbage and no one wants to hear or dance to them, willingly. If it wasn’t for all of that free alcohol and because most of your family sucks at actually dancing, no one would ever do this crap to themselves. It also serves to remind people, you can never underestimate the power of large groups of people doing something stupid.

 
Finally: “What if only dinosaurs voted?”

This is absolutely my favorite of our new extrapolated maps. We’re not exactly sure if this means that there is a dinosaur left in the Everglades that no one knew about all this time, or if all the gators count as dinosaurs. Or is it maybe that since so many old people live there that this map is not taking things so literally? I don’t know but I also don’t care. A world where only dinosaurs get to vote is obviously not a fun world for us to live in, but it’s just as viable of a sample study as any of the other really stupid maps that we keep seeing. So please, share this with all your friends to make sure that this never happens in the United States.

There you have it. All voting scenarios are now counted for but I’m fairly certain more silly maps will be seen in the coming days. Don’t let them scare you into voting. I’m sure you’re already scared enough.

The post Media To Continue Releasing Maps Of Ridiculous Voter Scenarios first appeared on The Hoof And Trunk Post.