Inspired by the classic Mary Shelley novel, a new political party has formed, eyeing 2020 as the year it finally gets to unleash itself upon the unsuspecting world. The Frankenstein Party hopes to be a little bit of everything on the political spectrum, considering itself to be equal parts of all major parties, echoing that old Everclear song, while it tries to be everything to everyone.

The party hopes to become a political monster, knocking down ridged ideas, political walls and throwing your children into a lake. The method that they hope to construct a new candidate for the next Presidential Election is a bit alarming, but I think that many people will find it refreshing and novel.

“Mary Shelley herself once wrote, ‘Invention, it must be humbly admitted, does not consist in creating out of void, but out of chaos.’ Well, nothing could be more chaotic than this current election cycle,” said Frankenstein party spokesperson, Clarice Walton. “What we want to do is exhume the brains and body parts left over from previous presidents and mix them together with some of the most healthy and viable cadavers the American medical school system has to offer. We figure we could potentially piece together the best political leader in the history of mankind. Imagine that? Someone that just about everyone can agree with, at least a little bit.”

While the idea comes off as a bit macabre, sensational and potentially problematic, they at least seem to have their heart in the right place. They have the right staff to know exactly where it goes and how to correctly attach the left ventricle to the aortic valve.

Naming for the political candidate will only come after they are completely brought to life, as they will choose their own name. While the gender of the candidate has been kept a secret, we can only imagine that it will wind up being of mixed genders, to help further the idea that this candidate can appeal to everyone.

Opposition to this idea has been growing just as much as the support for it, with Anti-Frankers wearing shirts that say things like, “You can’t make your friends!” and “We’ve got our torches ready!” We’ll have to wait till 2020 to see if they succeed, but until then we shall remain excited!

The post Frankenstein Party Vows To Put Together Presidential Candidate By 2020 first appeared on The Hoof And Trunk Post.

As the DNC scrambles to figure out what to do in this very terse situation, camp Clinton has already released a press release to ease people’s minds and curb voter drop off.

After paying her respects at the 9/11 Memorial, Hillary Clinton was feeling ill and had to be dismissed and driven away. While the public and media speculated on all types of situations that could have caused her decline in health, the wait for an official reason was not wrong.

Amid fake leaks of her having a battle with Parkinson’s disease, Alzheimer’s and other ailments that were names followed by apostrophes and an “s”, the Clinton campaign released a statement that most weren’t expecting, but were very welcome to hear.

Hillary Clinton has contacted the zombie plague, and that’s pretty okay. They also stated that she was “feeling better” but we had no more information given beyond that. The good news with this is that depending on where she was bit, they might be able to just cut that flesh off, and she’ll be good to go. At the very worse, she’ll die and become a zombie. Now, we know that sounds terrifying, but let’s think this through.

Zombie Hillary Clinton is still a better choice for president than Donald Trump. In fact, she would probably be higher in the polls than she already is because who doesn’t like to see a zombie? That would just be awesome. Even the most staunch Republicans would rather vote for a zombie Hillary.

On top of of that, a zombie is someone the majority of the United States can really identify with. People lose it when they see Obama high fiving someone or quoting popular movies and music, but imagine how they will react when Hillary is “just like us.” I mean, thoughtlessly going through your day, moving forward, slowly, for just one particular goal, while ignoring just about everything else that doesn’t interest you. That sounds a hell of a lot like most of the USA and that is the entire existance of a zombie. Give me food or get out of my way. That could even wind up being the campaign slogan.

So, for those of you freaking out about Hillary Clinton’s health, worry no more. This might be the best case scenario we’ve all been waiting it. Finally, a zombie candidate for an unthinking, pacified, zombie populace.

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