Everyday, President Donald Trump manages to surprise us with a new social networking low, whether it be cursing out a celebrity, complaining about the news or posting photos of him eating Tex/Mex food. Well, recently, he sank to a new, ultimate bottom, putting everyone in the world at risk. We’ve grown used to expecting some idiotic nonsense to tumble out of his mouth or through his greasy, fat fingers, but not generally something that could send us into a post-apocalyptic reality.

During one of his 3am Twitter tirades, Trump wrote the phrase “covfefe” in a tweet. What seemed like an innocent flub that was missed by spellcheck, autocomplete and the subhuman eye, turned out to be far more grave in nature. Covfefe is, or I should say, was the password necessary to deactivate the Permissive Action Link (PAL) which protects our nuclear devices.

Considering that Trump has been recklessly using his personal smartphone to speak to dignitaries around the world, sending unsecured work e-mails and sexting with his daughter Ivanka, him unleashing the one thing that is keeping the United States from being one giant mushroom cloud on Twitter was unsurprisingly bound to happen.

The United States military rushed to change any and all arming codes necessary once this happened. Oddly enough, this isn’t the first time the USA has fumbled the nuclear football, as the old password years ago was “000000000.”

The post Donald Trump Mistakenly Tweets Nuclear Arming Code “Covfefe” first appeared on The Hoof And Trunk Post.

After North Korea showed off that it has been conducting nuclear weapons tests, the united states decided it was time to give a show of force by basically sending two large, flying penises over their waters, letting them know just where we stand.

Adorned with the message, “OUR D*CK IS BIGGER!” two B-1 bombers flew by North Korea to let them know what’s what. As a playful show of force, this was a stern message letting them know that our cocksure Air Force, nuclear weapons and military strength are not to be messed with. I mean, we do spend more on the military than just about every other nation combined, so if we don’t get to unzip and let it hang out every once in awhile, what’s the point of all that spending? It’s kind of like when a woman gets breast implants. Sure, it might help with her self esteem, but soon enough she’s going to whip those puppies out every chance she gets. She paid good money for them. There is no reason to keep them hidden because she wants to get her money’s worth!

Anyhow, North Korea’s response was expected, as officials sent out a message saying, “It’s a nice bluff. Really, decent sized bluff, but we aren’t intimidated. Our nuclear weapons may be younger and seem smaller from afar, but we’re a grower not a shower.”

The relationship between North Korea has always been rough, but things are getting serious when both parties start waving their Johnsons around at each other.

We’ve censored the image of one of the bombers sent over, but if you wish to see the uncensored version, please click on the photo below:

The post USA To North Korea: “Our D*ck Is Bigger!” first appeared on The Hoof And Trunk Post.