As political pundits have been weighing in on the who’s, what’s, how’s and why’s when it comes to the election of Donald Trump as our next President, many people keep pointing towards the “silent majority” of uneducated white, male voters that came out in droves to select their ruler of choice.

As it stands, many have said we should pay more attention to them. See what they have to say. Heed their words, needs, wants and possibly learn to nurture the feelings they have. Some have thought that this outreach could be good for all parties involved and maybe bridge the widening gap that the United States seems to have between its differing political spectrums and racial barriers.

Well, it turns out the silent majority has a very strong, loud and annoying voice. They were never really silent, they just kind of went a way for a bit and had their own reality shows, bad country music and crappy channels that we weren’t watching. They were actually pretty damn loud, we just were ignoring them and for good reason.

Addressing many non-whites as “ya’ll colored people” and claiming insane things like “pizza isn’t that good,” it was very obvious to us that we needed things to change and go back to how they had been for a long time. The volume on the formerly silent, now really loud and annoying majority had to be drastically lowered or put on permanent mute.

From staging demonstrations, riots and Twitter hashtags to support Trump, boycott progressive business or to just buy lots of Starbucks with Trump’s name on it, (the worst punishment of a company, ever) it became evident that they needed to shut up. They have had nothing good to say. There were no words of wisdom, arcane nuggets of of joy, wise proverbs or even some good off color jokes. They’re not really funny. The lack of intelligence makes it hard for them to craft anything clever, and that’s probably the biggest disappointment.  I mean, sure, Donald Trump is hot human garbage, but at least he was good for a tons of laughs before it got too real and serious and we realized he was actually in danger of running this God forsaken country.

So, stop trying to plead with them. Don’t placate them and certainly don’t try to reason with them. Ignore them. Block them. Put vodka in their drinks until they pass out. Do whatever you have to do to keep them quiet because we’re all trying to think here and do stuff and they’re carrying on like that annoying guy that’s trying to talk to you on the bus while you clearly have your headphones on.

We’ve asked them to go away, countless times, but they are still here. So, really, we’re going to have to go back to ignoring them and hope they just go away, bored.

The post Silent Majority Asked To Go Back To Being Silent After Having Nothing Good To Say first appeared on The Hoof And Trunk Post.

Elle Magazine has debuted is fashion forward picks for the fall and winter and beyond what is en vogue for those with different body types, they let us know what the election outcome will do to our glamour landscape.

Under a Hillary Clinton presidency, solid color pant suits will be the new rage, as well as a whole slew of shoulder length hairstyles. While I expected spray tanner to be on the menu if Donald Trump becomes president, that is not in fact the case.

“In a Trump America, racism is the new black,” Elle editor-in-chief Roberta Myers told us. “Expect white cloaks, black armbands and as little color or dark clothing as possible, except for the black armbands. Swastikas will be all the rage, cartoon depictions from the 30s and 40s of different races will be on knit tees and Urban Outfitters will be selling Ghettopoly again.”

The irony of this, of course, is that racism doesn’t want to be dubbed the new black. It prefers the term, “fashion pure.” When we spoke to racism it had a few choice words for Elle.

“I don’t get where they think it’s okay to call me black. I haven’t done anything wrong to Elle. How dare they compare us to those colored folk? What’s next, are they going to call me a Kraut, zipperhead or wetback? This is just wrong. You can’t take my words away from me! That’s MY word! I am fashion pure and that’s all there is to it. I’m the one that told the KKK to use white sheets. That’s my work. It’s been long standing and going on for decades. Everyone knows it’s my work! Pure, white sheets for our pure white brothers! Ever walk into an Apple store and wonder why it looks so clean? Because I talked to Steve Jobs before he died and told him to make that room as white as possible. He took it way literally and decided to mostly hire only white folks as well, which I applauded, but that’s not even what I meant. Still, that’s MY work! Give credit where credit is due! I will never be the new black. I’m way too prominent in power to be black. Think about how many times you’ve thought about the subjugation of an entire people and thought, ‘wow, that’s all because of Racism.’ Well, it was! That as all my work! I don’t need to be the new anything, I’m already fashion pure!”

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Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Just don’t let them use Twitter, please. They might find the worst people, ever, to interact with. I’m not talking about millennial, hipster trolls, that get their rocks off by making ironic statements and fighting with you on-line, even when they know you’re right. I’m talking about white supremacists, white nationalists, the KKK, Neo-Nazis, the Islamic State, Westboro Baptists and a slew of other crazy, racist hatemongers.

Twitter has seen the growth of racists jerks by thousands over the past few years. Many will attribute it to Trump allowing people to show their true colors, while being loud and proud about it. Unsurprisingly, many of these folks follow Trump and Trump groups. These brown-hating, anti-gay folks somehow manage to be voting for the same person as the “Gays for Trump” or “Hispanics for Trump” camp, yet if they were all in the same room they would all be fighting and killing each other. Still, I’m not sure that it’s Trump that has them all coming out of the shadows.

People are just garbage. Racist people and hateful people will eventually show their true colors. They aren’t smart enough to be able to hide that kind of nasty for too long. Sure, they might get a cooking show or become millionaires from making fart whistles, but that doesn’t mean they won’t trip up and show how much they hate anyone that isn’t them.

Twitter’s policies make them a bit slow-to-act when it comes to hate groups. They went on full scale attack mode to try to remove ISIS from Twitter, but that proved difficult for them and would require them to do more work than most tech workers want to do. I mean, come on, it’s a pain in the ass just filling out the tag list on this blog. I sigh really hard every time I have to do it. Still, they see almost no action taken when it comes to white-supremacy groups. They just love them, apparently. Twitter is a breeding ground for cowardly, racist a-holes behind a keyboard, and I’m not talking about the keyboardist from Ace of Base.

The fact that NAZI and white supremacists groups have higher follower counts than ISIS, by about as much as 22 times more, makes me think they should be the group people should be horrified and terrified of in the USA, not ISIS. They are already here, are trying to get their golden boy up as president and want to get rid of all the kitchen staff at your favorite restaurants, all the tech support for your computer products, your favorite ethnic chefs, the dancing Fanta soda girls, and the cast of Modern Family. We can’t let them win and Twitter will just let them have a huge, ugly voice, like an overweight Bob Dylan. We must do something about this. Go, make angry tweets at them. Send them private messages of your brown private parts. Send them pictures of men making out or delicious tacos. Do whatever you have to do to scare them off of social media and let them know, we will not go down without a keyboard fight!

The post Twitter Is More Racist Than Your Crazy, Drunk Uncle first appeared on The Hoof And Trunk Post.

Everyone has some. You walk around with it in your pockets, every day. They line your wallets, purses and the bikini bottoms of strippers all over the USA. They say it is the root of all evil, but is that because of the Latin inscriptions? Money comes in one shade of color, but for some strange reason, in the United States, it comes in two languages. The main question we have is, why?

Lead by republicans like Rick Santorum (don’t Google that,) the English-only Movement has been around for a couple of hundred years, trying to make English the one, true official language of the United States. Inspired by the need to be able to hear what people are saying about you in a crowded room full of foreigners that are looking at you funny, the first strike, they believe, is to rid our dollars of all the Latin.

To get more information on the subject, we spoke to U.S. English Chairman, Mauro E. Mujica.

Hoof And Trunk: So what is about the Latin on money that we should be so worried about? Hasn’t it always been on our money?

Mauro E. Mujica: Whether it has been on the money all this time or not is irrelevant. The fact that it’s on the money right now is a problem. We’ve had the Latinos taking over our money, all this time, and we don’t even know what it says. How do we know it’s not some message that is going to unify them and get them to uprise against the US Government and turn us into Mexico?

H. and T.: Well, we can translate it for you right now. E pluribus unum means “Out of many, one,” which signifies the unification of the colonies and states to form the United States of America. Annuit cœptis means “favor our undertaking” or “God has favored our undertaking,” which isn’t that far from “God bless America.” And finally, Novus ordo seclorum means “A new order for the ages.” Now, since you know what they all mean, is that less worrisome for you?

Mauro: Well… uh… yeah, I guess it isn’t so bad in English. So there, why can’t we have it in English, then? If those words have nothing to hide, why do we need to read it in Latin! Do they have English words on their money in Latin America? I really doubt that. I doubt that a lot.

H. and T.: They don’t but they also have an official language, which is Spanish. The United States doesn’t. We’re a melting pot country with so many different roots. Them not having English on their money is fine. They also don’t have Latin on their money, either. They speak Spanish in Latin America, not Latin.

Mauro: Great, now I trust them even less! They’re even lying about who they are, what they are called and what they speak. They just want to take over our land, our money and our jobs. We need to take the dollar back and make it all English before someone else gets any crazy ideas about just what the USA is. Maybe that new order for the ages is exactly that, when Mexico takes over the USA? Did you stop to think about that?

H. and T.: No, not for a second, because that’s stupid. I don’t think of stupid things like you do, simply because you’re stupid. I have a bigger problem with the “In God We Trust” inscription we added to the dollars in 1957. Considering how much people hate on everyone else’s gods in this country, I think we could find a better, more honest phrase for the dollar, like “We Don’t Trust Each Other.”

Mauro: I see I’m talking to some pinko, commie, moronic wetback-loving, immigrant sympathizer here. I’m just about done with this interview then, but before I go. Let me ask you one thing? What will you do once they start teaching this Latin in schools, making you have to speak it and learn it, like it’s your own language? Are you going to join us and question this whole thing then?

H. and T.: They taught us Greek and Latin roots in 1st grade in school. I then took Latin in High School, as well as Spanish. I feel like the more you know about the rest of the world the more you know in general. Don’t be so afraid of something you don’t understand. Try to learn to understand it.

Mauro: Oh, Jesus, Mary and Joseph, they got to you! The Illuminati brainwashed your damn fool self. That’s it, I’m out of here. You stay away from me, with your Latino mojo. I am done. Someone get this guy away from me. He’s trying to sabotage the great English language with his bad juju!

The post The English-Only Movement Wants To Erase Latin From Our Money first appeared on The Hoof And Trunk Post.