In a surprise announcement, the White House confirmed today that it threw out a bag of rotting cottage cheese two weeks ago. This information came as a surprise to many as they thought that disgusting bag of stinking, white refuse would never be tossed out into the garbage where it belongs.

Oddly enough, the sent of rancid, dairy air can still be detected all around the White House as hardly anyone noticed a change.

“It’s still awful in here. I mean, just this weekend were were asking ourselves when the gross lumps of regurgitated cow fat would be out of here since the influence was felt in every speech that Trump had to deliver. We had no idea that it had already been sent to the landfill,” an unnamed White House aide that did not want to be identified told us.

Considering the intense rotten smells and feeling that hangs heavy in the air of Washington DC, many were shocked to see that getting rid of this sack of curdling curds did nothing to stop horrid reality we’ve all had to live with there for the past few months.

There was no reason given for why this rancid sack of scum was thrown out but we just as soon accepted the notion that there is never a reason needed to get rid of stinking slop and unwanted rubbish.

The post Rotting Bag Of Cottage Cheese Thrown Out Of White House Two Weeks Ago But It Still Stinks first appeared on The Hoof And Trunk Post.

While The Ku Klux Klan has been behind the times in just about all manners of thinking, the white supremacists have stuck to their one fashion forward idea for the past hundred years or so: wearing white all year round.

While it was considered a faux pas by socialite and fashionista standards of the 1800s, forward, not wearing white after Labor Day is an American trend that is seldom adhered to. You would think that a group like the KKK that has such backwards ideas, such as burning crosses on lawns, lynching blacks and Mexicans, hating anyone that isn’t white and wearing robes with hoods on any day that isn’t Halloween, would still want to adhere to the social norms of the early 19th century. Nope, not these guys.

“Wearing white is right! It is our God given right in these United States and we, as a people, will not adhere to any silly social norm. What difference does it make what time of the year it is? White works year round. Sure, it doesn’t give the appearance of slimming and can sometimes get stained when we go out in the rain, but you can’t tell me not to wear it just because the summer is coming to an end. I don’t care what those harpy W.A.S.P. women say, white isn’t reserved for their wedding dresses and fancy dinner wear anymore. This is 2016 and if I want to wear white all year round, I can. Of course, I don’t wear white every day, I mean my police uniform doesn’t have a stitch of white on it, but these colors don’t run. Like, literally, there is no color in a white robe so I don’t have to worry about it running. I have to keep it completely separate from my sergeant uniform because those colors totally run in the wash. Don’t ever use color safe bleach with a uniform like that, ever. It’s total hogwash. Actually, no, I take that back, I would never use that to wash my hogs either. Neither my motorcycle nor my pigs out back deserve such treatment. I’m not some kind of cold, uncaring monster, you know?” The unidentified KKK member went on to also mention that the robes worked year round for temperature control.

“It shades you from the sun in the summer and keeps you warm in the winter. It’s really all purpose. I don’t know why more people don’t wear it. I mean I guess I do know why, but it wouldn’t be the first time someone co-opts another culture’s fashion trends to act like it’s their own. My ex-wife got all crazy with the braids in her hair after Bo Derek had that hairdo in that movie Ten but I put the kibosh on that real quick. I told her she had to watch out for it because that was obviously some negro hair appropriation. Man, that was a close one. These robes, though, should be white year-round. Yeah, there are some guys that get to wear different colors because of their level in the hierarchy of the Klan, but what you don’t know is that they’re wearing all white underneath that. Don’t tell them I told you that! Hahaha!”

We also asked him why all the words in the name use the letter K, like if they were objects or characters in a Mortal Kombat game, but he had no real good answer for us.

The post KKK Refuses To Stop Wearing White After Labor Day first appeared on The Hoof And Trunk Post.

Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Just don’t let them use Twitter, please. They might find the worst people, ever, to interact with. I’m not talking about millennial, hipster trolls, that get their rocks off by making ironic statements and fighting with you on-line, even when they know you’re right. I’m talking about white supremacists, white nationalists, the KKK, Neo-Nazis, the Islamic State, Westboro Baptists and a slew of other crazy, racist hatemongers.

Twitter has seen the growth of racists jerks by thousands over the past few years. Many will attribute it to Trump allowing people to show their true colors, while being loud and proud about it. Unsurprisingly, many of these folks follow Trump and Trump groups. These brown-hating, anti-gay folks somehow manage to be voting for the same person as the “Gays for Trump” or “Hispanics for Trump” camp, yet if they were all in the same room they would all be fighting and killing each other. Still, I’m not sure that it’s Trump that has them all coming out of the shadows.

People are just garbage. Racist people and hateful people will eventually show their true colors. They aren’t smart enough to be able to hide that kind of nasty for too long. Sure, they might get a cooking show or become millionaires from making fart whistles, but that doesn’t mean they won’t trip up and show how much they hate anyone that isn’t them.

Twitter’s policies make them a bit slow-to-act when it comes to hate groups. They went on full scale attack mode to try to remove ISIS from Twitter, but that proved difficult for them and would require them to do more work than most tech workers want to do. I mean, come on, it’s a pain in the ass just filling out the tag list on this blog. I sigh really hard every time I have to do it. Still, they see almost no action taken when it comes to white-supremacy groups. They just love them, apparently. Twitter is a breeding ground for cowardly, racist a-holes behind a keyboard, and I’m not talking about the keyboardist from Ace of Base.

The fact that NAZI and white supremacists groups have higher follower counts than ISIS, by about as much as 22 times more, makes me think they should be the group people should be horrified and terrified of in the USA, not ISIS. They are already here, are trying to get their golden boy up as president and want to get rid of all the kitchen staff at your favorite restaurants, all the tech support for your computer products, your favorite ethnic chefs, the dancing Fanta soda girls, and the cast of Modern Family. We can’t let them win and Twitter will just let them have a huge, ugly voice, like an overweight Bob Dylan. We must do something about this. Go, make angry tweets at them. Send them private messages of your brown private parts. Send them pictures of men making out or delicious tacos. Do whatever you have to do to scare them off of social media and let them know, we will not go down without a keyboard fight!

The post Twitter Is More Racist Than Your Crazy, Drunk Uncle first appeared on The Hoof And Trunk Post.