With this upcoming Presidential election, people are feeling pretty upset about their limited choices for presidential candidates. As the two-party system has been developing less and less stable ideas for political representation over time, voters and political activists have taken matters into their own hands and tore that ass up.
Inspired by political parties such as the Green Party, Libertarian Party and Tea Party, a whole new slew of parties are coming out of the woodwork from the major two, really focusing on what separates them inside of their own larger parties. For instance, while the Green Party are highly eco-conscious liberals, the Tea Party are hyper-religious conservatives and the Libertarian Party just doesn’t give crap about anyone but themselves, they all still fall under the major ideals of one of the two parties. As the infighting between those who wanted Bernie Sanders for the DNC nomination versus those that backed Hillary Clinton continued, it raised the thought that maybe more parties were needed. The same went for Donald Trump’s existence in the Republican Party.
As such, there are now 64,568 parties that have splintered out from the Democratic and Republican parties. They are all very specifically tied to certain voting issues, social classes and political ideals. The hope is that they will truly be able to come up with candidates that represent the majority, even though they’ve been splintered out into a field of way too many minority parties.
Are you a liberal that thinks that food tastes better when it comes out of a microwave than when it comes out of a toaster oven? Well, not only are you wrong, but the “Nuke, Not Puke Party” is for you. Are you a conservative that firmly believes that humanity started with Eve being cloned from Adam via his rib? Then the “Ribbed for Eve’s Pleasure Party” is for you. Are you a moderate that really loves Andrew W.K.? Then the “Party, Party Party” is for you! Are you constantly unsure of who to vote for and air your grievances about this daily on social networking, complaining about how there are no good candidates to vote for and how difficult it has made your life? Well, congratulations, you now can join the “Pity Party!”
While these incredibly specific party platforms may sound like a bad idea, the thought that voter turnout could increase thanks to everyone being a special little snowflake that gets to voice their very specific opinions is a positive notion. Just think, we may finally get someone to represent all those white people that say they are 16th Cherokee that don’t have a drop of native American blood in them, or a party for the fans of Insane Clown Posse that stopped listening to them when they found out they were fundamentalist Christians. Everyone has needs but not everyone has a voice. Finally, even those we don’t want to hear from will have their voices heard.