Stimulus Checks Halted To Print Tiny Trump Penis
In our darkest hour, hopeful recipients of the paper stimulus checks that were promised to help...
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You Can Call Trump A Boil-Infested, Shit-Eating Satan Baby And He Just Has To Take It
No longer can he hit the block button on you when you’re all like, “rot in a pile of camel excrement, you over-boiled sack of cheddar vomit.”
Fish-Human Hybrids Still Don’t Exist
Despite the popularity of fictional stories, cartoons and pornographic material depicting mermaids or mermen, the CDC confirmed today that fish/human hybrids do not exist.
Priest Blames Pride Parade Photos For Facebook Downtime
God just couldn’t take it anymore. He didn’t want us to have to see all this nekkidness, half–naked men with bulging biceps, dancing in the streets. Girls with their tops off with paint covering their nipples… what were they all thinking? Did they think that they could do all this stuff and there would be no consequences?
What Happens If We Lose Net Neutrality?
Hello, We see you’re trying to read “What Happens If We Lose Net Neutrality?” on the...
Supreme Court Status Lowered To Inferior Court
In the light of the fact that the Supreme Court is allowing President Donald Trump’s latest...
Trump’s Secret Soviet Past Tied To Gorky Park
As we are all eagerly awaiting the results of the many secret probes happening in Washington...
Rotting Bag Of Cottage Cheese Thrown Out Of White House Two Weeks Ago But It Still Stinks
In a surprise announcement, the White House confirmed today that it threw out a bag of...
Trump and Kim Jong-un To Battle To The Death In Micro-Penis Sword-fight
While the rest of the United States was shocked and mortified over the sudden realization that...
Sean Spicer Resigns Thanks To Trump Hiring Gollum As Communications Director
It has been a strange year for politics, especially in Washington, but things are about to...