Man Mistakenly Walks Into VP Debate Instead of Fart Contest, Doesn’t Notice For 30 Minutes
Farmville, VA local, Edward Bernstain, somehow managed to spend a half hour at the vice-presidential debate at Longwood University, completely by mistake. He was baffled, especially at the fact that it took him that long to realize he was at the wrong event.
Expecting to show up to the Farmville “Fartville 94th Annual Farting and Belching Contest,” which was being held the same night, he was shocked to learn that he was at the wrong address.
“I had no idea what was going on. I walked in, sat down and expected to spend the next couple of hours laughing, watching grown men release lots of hot air, stink up the place with foul noises and overall enjoy the spectacle. What I got, instead, was a totally different kind of noisy asshole on stage. It wasn’t anywhere near as fun, but I really couldn’t tell the difference for a while.” Edward Bernstain was disappointed but realized that most of the folks that were there, surrounding him, didn’t really look like they wanted to be there either.
“I knew something was off because people around me started getting angry and heated. I usually don’t see that at a good, old fashioned farting contest. Then, when I realized that the guys on stage had been talking all this time, and not farting or burping, it really started to sink in. I mean, who could really tell the difference? No one around me looked happy to be there, either. Did we all walk into the wrong event?”
No, Edward. They all knew what they were going to get but were still as disappointed as you. I think right now the whole world could have benefitted from a nice fart and belch contest, instead.