We keep on hearing it. 2016 is the worst year, ever. The year of the reaper is taking our best. According to Trump, Mexico doesn’t send their best, but apparently, the Grim Reaper keeps taking the best, from everywhere. We’ve lost amazing musicians, fantastic actors, great writers, award winning comic book artists and creators, but we still have a gaggle of douches here on this planet that we’d totally love to trade in.
If you’re a comic book fan, you’ve been rocked by the terrible news that Steve Dillon (Preacher, Punisher, Hellblazer) has passed away. Earlier we lost Darwyn Cooke (Catwoman, Richard Stark’s Parker, New Frontier) as well, and who knows who else might leave us by the year’s end.
And yet, we still have Donald Trump. Can we make a trade? How about Scott Baio? Yeah, they might both make us laugh at them, but that’s no reason to keep them around. Who do we have to call to make this happen?
So, those two would get us our comic greats back. Who do we go after for Prince, David Bowie and Lemmy? Yeah, I know Lemmy died in 2015, but it was so close to the end of the year that I think it counts. Besides, I’d trade probably half of the senate or congress just to get Lemmy back.
Oh man, Mike Pence has to have some value on the soule market. He’s a surefire hatemonger and would be the perfect person to trade-in to get someone we all love back. Mike Pence can leave and we can get Gene Wilder back! That sounds like such a sound and perfect deal to me.
Phife Dawg from A Tribe Called Quest is a tough one to lose, as well. Sorry, Rudy Giuliani, it’s time for you to go.
Really, we can clean house this way. Get back all the worthwhile humans, the talented and the best we’ve ever known. I have some cousins and friends I’d like to get back as well. Sure, you may not know them, but they’re definitely better than the garbage politicians, hate mongers, racists, misogynists, rapists and human monsters we have in or running for office. Come to think of it, those words could apply to just one person in a few cases.
So, Grim Reaper, buddy, baby. Can we make a deal?