Donald Trump Won’t Go To The White House Correspondents’ Dinner Because He’s A Punk-Ass Bitch

No hope in this great, white dope.
No hope in this great, white dope.

One might remember that now-President Donald Trump was once verbally sterilized by Seth Meyers and President Barack Obama back in 2011 at the White House Correspondent’s Dinner. The thin-skinned, lily-livered, can-dish-it-but-can’t-take-it President is very yellow about his mustard.

Famously known to insult, degrade and demean just about anyone he doesn’t agree with, this souffle-quaffed, nacho-colored, micro-penis of a man is bowing out of a night with the press that he so loves to abuse.  Cowardly offering his “best wishes,” while giving no reason why he won’t attend, Donald Trump announced that he won’t be going, on Twitter, like some mark-ass bitch, punk, trick, busta fool that breaks up with you via text message.

The gutless poltroon will stay at home, licking his wounds from afar. The punk-ass bitch leader of the free world would rather not be in attendance or take the chance to dish out his own verbal barbs. The historic snub is sure to go down in history as one of the most scaredy-cat, gutless, wimpy, chicken-hearted, spineless moves by a bitch-ass turd the world has ever known. It’s a pretty stupid move, simply because if he were to go, he’d have earned more respect than he would have, otherwise, especially if he had a few choice comedic moments of his own.

Immediately, people have been demanding his last physical results to see if he still has his balls. Odds are they haven’t been seen in ages and his youngest son is actually the product of injecting genetic material directly into the womb of Melania Trump. If that is indeed the case, that’s a win for her, as no one should have to touch any part of this foul, sad, whimpering creature we now call President.