While Native Americans petition the NFL to change the name and imagery of the Washington Redskins, a new team was rejected by the NFL for Georgia. Hailing from Stone Mountain, Georgia, the Georgia Crackers would have been a great new addition to the AFC, if it hadn’t been so controversial.
“We hated it,” said Commissioner Roger Goodell. “I mean, I get why some people are upset about the Redskins, but this is so obvious, so overt that we just had to nip it right in the bud.” We weren’t sure if he was making a reference to cotton picking right at that moment, but we let that one go.
“It just doesn’t sit well with us. Can you imagine all these players, many of which are people of color, as they are competing on a field, putting millions of dollars on the line for all of their owners? I mean, the owners of the teams? These guys make tons of money, now. Everything is okay and some yahoos want to go and bring our progress back a hundred years? I mean, no player would want to have some white slave owner with a whip on their helmet. That’s just insane.”
To see if he was correct, we sent out feelers from the players association which was able to get us the ears of some player that were interested in speaking their mind.
“I think it’s f*ck@ng hilarious! Dude, that’s just raw! The Georgia Crackers from Stone Mountain, Georgia? Have you read up on Stone Mountain? That place has ties to the KKK, the confederacy and all that. That’s perfect!” Former Atlanta Falcon player, Deion Sanders was more than enthused by the idea. “I think they should do it! If they don’t like the image of the guy with the whip, then, Hell, change it to a bunch of saltines or some Ritz crackers. The rest of us will still get the idea!”
Unfortunately, the veto for the Georgia Crackers was swift and we’ll never hear of it again. The owners, however, have a list of names they might try to resurge their attempts with, like the San Juan Switchblades, the Greensboro Guineas, the Helena Honkeys, theWyoming Wetbacks and the Massachusetts Micks.
Here is another, larger look at that beautiful Crackers logo: