Stimulus Checks Halted To Print Tiny Trump Penis

Covid Stimulus Checks
Covid stimulus checks were halted in order to print these tiny Trump penii on them.

In our darkest hour, hopeful recipients of the paper stimulus checks that were promised to help offset the negative impact of the Covid-19 (Coronavirus) impact on the American Economy were incredibly disappointed to find out that they would have to wait even longer for a small amount of satisfaction.

It was as if Donald Trump himself had climbed into bed with the United States, as millions found out that they would be disappointed by his actions as President, yet again. While many folks had already received their direct deposits for Covid relief, many more would have to wait.

Donald Trump decided that the checks that had already been printed by the US Treasury were not good enough. They need to have his official stamp on it. Instead of putting his John Hancock on it, he decided to go with the small hand’s cock instead. Yes, tiny watermarks of his very own micro-penis would be used as security measure to protect from counterfeit reproduction of these checks. It was too late, however, to save us from the reproduction of his DNA, as even his ugliest son (we can’t choose which one, either) has had children.

The tiny Trump penii checks should be finished printing in a week or two, further delaying the financial relief of so many who have lost jobs, work and loved ones because of this terrible pandemic. It’s unfortunate that this further reminder of our President’s failure in both the oval office and in oval orifices would leave the public unsatisfied, without relief and just plain pissed, yet again.