Science

Stimulus Checks Halted To Print Tiny Trump Penis

Covid Stimulus Checks

In our darkest hour, hopeful recipients of the paper stimulus checks that were promised to help offset the negative impact of the Covid-19 (Coronavirus) impact on the American Economy...

You Can Call Trump A Boil-Infested, Shit-Eating Satan Baby And He Just Has To Take It

The Devil is in the details, and also the White House.

No longer can he hit the block button on you when you're all like, "rot in a pile of camel excrement, you over-boiled sack of cheddar vomit."

Fish-Human Hybrids Still Don’t Exist

Mermaids don't exist.

Despite the popularity of fictional stories, cartoons and pornographic material depicting mermaids or mermen, the CDC confirmed today that fish/human hybrids do not exist.

Priest Blames Pride Parade Photos For Facebook Downtime

Social Media Icons

God just couldn't take it anymore. He didn't want us to have to see all this nekkidness, half--naked men with bulging biceps, dancing in the streets. Girls with their...

What Happens If We Lose Net Neutrality?

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Trump Twitter Tirade Takes Dark Turn

Trump really needs to leave Twitter.

Donald Trump has seemingly had a Twitter problem from the moment he joined the social network, but things are spiraling out of control, darkly. We’re used to him commenting...

Trump Orders USA To Pull Out Of Kathy Griffin By 2020

Kathy Griffin in 2008, way before people remembered who she was.

In a historical move that will be talked about for many years to come, Donald Trump has put his foot down and insisted that the United States pulls out...

Donald Trump Mistakenly Tweets Nuclear Arming Code “Covfefe”

This mushroom cloud might represent the sate of the USA in a few months.

Everyday, President Donald Trump manages to surprise us with a new social networking low, whether it be cursing out a celebrity, complaining about the news or posting photos of...

217 Republican Names Have Been Added To Black Market Organ Harvesting List

Republicans didn't realize they signed up for organ donation by voting against American healthcare.

In a stunning victory for black market organ dealers and 3rd world unlicensed surgeons, 217 American House Republicans unknowingly signed up to have their kidneys, livers and other internal...

Paul Ryan Vows To Destroy The Healthcare System

Paul Ryan hopes to feast on our carcasses.

So… sometimes you sit down to write something and then you just give up and decide not to write anything at all because… well, this happened: