Stimulus Checks Halted To Print Tiny Trump Penis
In our darkest hour, hopeful recipients of the paper stimulus checks that were promised to help...
Category: Science
You Can Call Trump A Boil-Infested, Shit-Eating Satan Baby And He Just Has To Take It
No longer can he hit the block button on you when you’re all like, “rot in a pile of camel excrement, you over-boiled sack of cheddar vomit.”
Fish-Human Hybrids Still Don’t Exist
Despite the popularity of fictional stories, cartoons and pornographic material depicting mermaids or mermen, the CDC confirmed today that fish/human hybrids do not exist.
Priest Blames Pride Parade Photos For Facebook Downtime
God just couldn’t take it anymore. He didn’t want us to have to see all this nekkidness, half–naked men with bulging biceps, dancing in the streets. Girls with their tops off with paint covering their nipples… what were they all thinking? Did they think that they could do all this stuff and there would be no consequences?
What Happens If We Lose Net Neutrality?
Hello, We see you’re trying to read “What Happens If We Lose Net Neutrality?” on the...
Trump Twitter Tirade Takes Dark Turn
Donald Trump has seemingly had a Twitter problem from the moment he joined the social network,...
Trump Orders USA To Pull Out Of Kathy Griffin By 2020
In a historical move that will be talked about for many years to come, Donald Trump...
Donald Trump Mistakenly Tweets Nuclear Arming Code “Covfefe”
Everyday, President Donald Trump manages to surprise us with a new social networking low, whether it...
217 Republican Names Have Been Added To Black Market Organ Harvesting List
In a stunning victory for black market organ dealers and 3rd world unlicensed surgeons, 217 American...
Paul Ryan Vows To Destroy The Healthcare System
So… sometimes you sit down to write something and then you just give up and decide...