US Senate Votes In Brick Of Cheese As Education Secretary

This is government cheese at its very worst.

This is government cheese at its very worst.

After weeks of intense debate, speculation, anger, frustration and confusion, the United States Senate has finally voted on the acceptance of a thoughtless, cold, uncaring brick of cheese as our next Secretary of Education.

Thought to be not much more than a vapid piece of lactose-free cheddar, the incredulous stupidity that was required to make such a decision simply means that the word incredulous will never be understood ever again.

When asked about the future of education in the United States, the brick of cheese said absolutely nothing. It’s a brick of cheese. It knows nothing about education, it has no independent thoughts on the matter and it will do absolutely no good for us or the children that will depend on it.

If served at a party with some pepperoni and butter crackers, it would bring delight to millions, but as the arbiter of knowledge and education in the USA, it will serve no purpose but to gridlock the process of free thought for future generations to come.