Frankenstein Party Vows To Put Together Presidential Candidate By 2020

Coming out of the woodwork, the Frankenstein Party hopes to finally piece together some hope.
Coming out of the woodwork, the Frankenstein Party hopes to finally piece together some hope.

Inspired by the classic Mary Shelley novel, a new political party has formed, eyeing 2020 as the year it finally gets to unleash itself upon the unsuspecting world. The Frankenstein Party hopes to be a little bit of everything on the political spectrum, considering itself to be equal parts of all major parties, echoing that old Everclear song, while it tries to be everything to everyone.

The party hopes to become a political monster, knocking down ridged ideas, political walls and throwing your children into a lake. The method that they hope to construct a new candidate for the next Presidential Election is a bit alarming, but I think that many people will find it refreshing and novel.

“Mary Shelley herself once wrote, ‘Invention, it must be humbly admitted, does not consist in creating out of void, but out of chaos.’ Well, nothing could be more chaotic than this current election cycle,” said Frankenstein party spokesperson, Clarice Walton. “What we want to do is exhume the brains and body parts left over from previous presidents and mix them together with some of the most healthy and viable cadavers the American medical school system has to offer. We figure we could potentially piece together the best political leader in the history of mankind. Imagine that? Someone that just about everyone can agree with, at least a little bit.”

While the idea comes off as a bit macabre, sensational and potentially problematic, they at least seem to have their heart in the right place. They have the right staff to know exactly where it goes and how to correctly attach the left ventricle to the aortic valve.

Naming for the political candidate will only come after they are completely brought to life, as they will choose their own name. While the gender of the candidate has been kept a secret, we can only imagine that it will wind up being of mixed genders, to help further the idea that this candidate can appeal to everyone.

Opposition to this idea has been growing just as much as the support for it, with Anti-Frankers wearing shirts that say things like, “You can’t make your friends!” and “We’ve got our torches ready!” We’ll have to wait till 2020 to see if they succeed, but until then we shall remain excited!