Mike Pence So Unloved And Unimportant That Royalty Free Photos Of Him Do Not Exist

Oh my goodness, look how cute those kittens are! Screw you, Mike Pence!
Oh my goodness, look how cute those kittens are! Screw you, Mike Pence!

Sometimes you start your way towards one story and stumble upon something else. This is the earmark of good, old fashioned American journalism. The best and most hard nosed news boys and girls of the past have unearthed scandals, liberated countries and destabilized regimes with their hard-hitting fact checking, research and truth delivery. Today is The Hoof and Trunk Post’s day to join those ranks.

While looking for a photo to accompany a different story, that is now shelved, I discovered something incredible: no one gives a sh*t about Mike Pence. The GOP Nominee for Vice President has been so overcast by his running mate that it seems that half the world doesn’t even know he exists, let alone that he could wind up being the President of the USA if Trump makes it in and chokes on a taco bowl.

We searched on every major royalty free image provider and not a single shot of Mike Pence was available. The closest thing we could find was pictures of British coins. Pence is so worthless that even pictures of one of the lowest denominations of British money could be found before him. Are there salable images of him from photographers out there? Yes, but we all know that only people of note get royalty free images made of them.

This staggering discovery lead me to do some further digging and realized that, yes, even these cute kittens that we used in lieu of Mike Pence were available to download for free, but he was not. I found pictures of toilet plungers, half-eaten apples, used handkerchiefs, dirty underwear, slugs and even an image that contains letter-art of his competition, Tim Kaine. I decided to use the kittens, because this is the internet and I am a smart person.

Is this the guy we want to hand over the designated driver keys too? Do we trust him to do the right thing when Donald Trump is too drunk to drive our country into a ditch, himself? I don’t know that the USA is going to be comfortable putting a guy in office that is invisible to the eyes of even the most charitable of photographers. They’ve uploaded pictures of dildos, but no Mike Pence. That says a lot.