Hedorah The Smog Monster Confirmed To Head EPA

Hedorah The Smog Monster
Hedorah The Smog Monster

The Senate confirmed Hedorah, The Smog Monster on Friday to run the Environmental Protection Agency, putting a seasoned opponent of nature, cleanliness and renewable resources at the helm of President Trump’s efforts to dismantle major regulations on climate change, decency, clean water, breathable air and to cut the size and capability of the government’s environmental watchdog. Basically, screw the planet.

As the United States has clearly vowed to plunge the entire planet into a frenzy of black lung despair and pulsating, radioactive skin boils, we can only hope that Godzilla and Mothra will hear the call of the more sensible humans out there and save us from our own demise.

If you’re familiar with Hedorah, you then know that he has 3 possible forms at which he can use his disgusting, malformed, pollutant body to render the world around him useless and decayed. Well, Donald Trump has already been doing that with less than a month into his presidency, so dark days are surely upon us, now.

We tried to reach Hedorah for a statement but he was apparently busy leaving eggs in the ruined lands and waters of Refugio County, Texas where a Kinder Morgan gas pipeline exploded and burned.