Month February 2017


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Donald Trump Won’t Go To The White House Correspondents’ Dinner Because He’s A Punk-Ass Bitch

No hope in this great, white dope.

One might remember that now-President Donald Trump was once verbally sterilized by Seth Meyers and President Barack Obama back in 2011 at the White House Correspondent’s Dinner. The thin-skinned, lily-livered, can-dish-it-but-can’t-take-it President is very yellow about his mustard. Famously known…


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First Contact From TRAPPIST-1 Aliens Beg Us To Stay Away

The first new life in space is smarter than we are.

NASA announced yesterday that they have discovered a new solar system that has 7 planets, of which at least 3 are more than likely capable of sustaining some form of life. As scientists, fans of science and skeptics all weighed…


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Hedorah The Smog Monster Confirmed To Head EPA

Hedorah The Smog Monster

The Senate confirmed Hedorah, The Smog Monster on Friday to run the Environmental Protection Agency, putting a seasoned opponent of nature, cleanliness and renewable resources at the helm of President Trump’s efforts to dismantle major regulations on climate change, decency, clean…


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US Senate Votes In Brick Of Cheese As Education Secretary

This is government cheese at its very worst.

After weeks of intense debate, speculation, anger, frustration and confusion, the United States Senate has finally voted on the acceptance of a thoughtless, cold, uncaring brick of cheese as our next Secretary of Education. Thought to be not much more…