Monthly Archive: February 2017

Donald Trump Won’t Go To The White House Correspondents’ Dinner Because He’s A Punk-Ass Bitch

No hope in this great, white dope.

One might remember that now-President Donald Trump was once verbally sterilized by Seth Meyers and President Barack Obama back in 2011 at the White House Correspondent’s Dinner. The thin-skinned,...

First Contact From TRAPPIST-1 Aliens Beg Us To Stay Away

The first new life in space is smarter than we are.

NASA announced yesterday that they have discovered a new solar system that has 7 planets, of which at least 3 are more than likely capable of sustaining some form...

Hedorah The Smog Monster Confirmed To Head EPA

Hedorah The Smog Monster

The Senate confirmed Hedorah, The Smog MonsterĀ on Friday to run the Environmental Protection Agency, putting a seasoned opponent of nature, cleanliness and renewable resources at the helm of President...

Donald Trump Prepares To Celebrate Presidents Day, Not Knowing It Isn’t For Him

Who knew that Lincoln and Washington were so adorable?

While President Donald J. Trump tries to avoid the possibility of he and his cabinet being executed for treason, he’s keeping his mind off of such dour things by...

Kellyanne Conway Confirmed To Be From Alternate Universe Constantly Stuck In Opposite Day

Kellyanne Conway takes a walk in the park.

Kellyanne Conway has said a lot of questionable things, including flat out lies and made up events she calls “alternative facts,” but what if they really are all true?...

US Senate Votes In Brick Of Cheese As Education Secretary

This is government cheese at its very worst.

After weeks of intense debate, speculation, anger, frustration and confusion, the United States Senate has finally voted on the acceptance of a thoughtless, cold, uncaring brick of cheese as...