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US Senate Votes In Brick Of Cheese As Education Secretary

This is government cheese at its very worst.

After weeks of intense debate, speculation, anger, frustration and confusion, the United States Senate has finally voted on the acceptance of a thoughtless, cold, uncaring brick of cheese as our next Secretary of Education. Thought to be not much more…


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DAPL Police To Celebrate Thanksgiving By Slaughtering Native Americans And Stealing Their Land

Boy that turkey sure smells great, even though all we can smell right now is the coppery air of freshly spilled Native American blood

Get out your knives and forks, because it’s time to carve in! As tables are set around the United States for a peaceful, tranquil and dinner, Native Americans and DAPL protestors will be served a slice of pain, anguish, disgrace…


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Silent Majority Asked To Go Back To Being Silent After Having Nothing Good To Say

Alaskan hunters in a cabin, being quiet. Don't you miss that?

As political pundits have been weighing in on the who’s, what’s, how’s and why’s when it comes to the election of Donald Trump as our next President, many people keep pointing towards the “silent majority” of uneducated white, male voters…


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Americans Running Out Of Supervillain Group Names For Trump Cabinet

Our one solace right now is the colorful world of comic books

The Legion of Doom. The Injustice League. The Serpent Society. You’ve read all of these names before in your childhood and forgot about many of them, until now. For those of us that are still reading comic books, we never…


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Donald Trump Backs Off Of Most Campaign Promises After Being Briefed On Existence Of Aliens

The truth is out there and now Donald Trump knows it.

After meeting with Barack Obama, the joint chiefs of staff and the rest of the Washington D.C. think-tank, President Elect Donald Trump was briefed on all matters of national security. From nuclear codes and terrorists to time travelers and aliens,…


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Democrats Vow To Make America Greater Again In 2020

Without skipping a beat, Democrats have set their sights on the next election. The loss to Donald Trump has left an aching, huge, bloody hole in the heart of America’s Thinking Core, but they have chosen to get right back…