Monthly Archive: September 2016

Politicians Vow To Increase Homelessness Thanks To Vagrant Vigilance

Homelessness is only a problem when they aren't able to save their city from madmen with explosives.

You ignore them when they ask you for spare change. You walk right past them when they are on the floor, handmade sign in-hand, holding out their plastic Subway...

Investigations Into Scott Walker’s “Dark Money” Show Racial Bias In Terminology

Who needs deplorables when you can have baskets of money as a politician?

Not everyone has heard of Scott Walker and his campaign scheme, so let’s break it down really quickly for you. Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker’s 2012 recall election campaign was...

Dumpster Blown Up After Being Mistaken For Donald Trump

That's a lot of garbage in one place, and this time it isn't the RNC.

The Chelsea area of New York city was rocked by a large explosion last night, injuring nearly 30 people and putting thousands in a rush to find a safe...

Researchers Question Trump’s Support of Professional Women, Besides Prostitutes

Oh, those lovely ladies of ill repute. The things they can do for a dollar, and the things they certainly won't do for just a dollar.

In a conversation with Cosmopolitan, Ivanka Trump stated, “My father obviously has a track record of decades of employing women at every level of his company, and supporting women,...

Sen. Ted Cruz Opposes ICANN In Order To Erase Zodiac Killer References

Who are these shady internet characters? Is it ICANN or the Zodiac Killers?

Senator Ted Cruz is doing something none of us expecting: he’s championing the ideas of a free and uncensored internet. He’s trying to keep the internet from falling under...

USA To North Korea: “Our D*ck Is Bigger!”

Well, it couldn't get more clear than this. It's become a d*ck waving contest.

After North Korea showed off that it has been conducting nuclear weapons tests, the united states decided it was time to give a show of force by basically sending...

Edible Arrangements To Offer Basket Of Deplorables This Thanksgiving

Well, will you look at that spread! I bet you'd never say those words at a Trump rally!

Edible Arrangements, the company that has been making men and women the envy of their entire workplace for 17 years, is now ready to announce their newest item, the...

Mike Pence To Say More Shocking Things Just To Get Noticed

Contrary to popular belief, the White House was not destroyed by alien invaders.

We’ve already told you that no one really knows who Mike Pence is and that his haircut gets more press than he does, and now it seems as though he has...

Hillary Clinton Hit With Zombie Plague But Is “Feeling Better”

Does she want your spare change or to bite off your shins? It's hard to tell these days.

As the DNC scrambles to figure out what to do in this very terse situation, camp Clinton has already released a press release to ease people’s minds and curb...

Nation Remembers 15 Years Of Hating The Wrong People

This tiny American flag is all that is left of the instant patriotism that was gained 15 years ago.

Fifteen years ago, one of the most heinous, reviled and unforgettable acts of atrocity took place on September 11th. The soundtrack to Mariah Carey’s movie “Glitter” had hit the shelves....