Month September 2016


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Putin Resurrects KGB To Bring Home Yakov Smirnoff

The Russian Honor Guard guards the honor of Russians so no one else can have any.

We thought we heard the last of Russia’s most feared and dangerous asset, but we were wrong. Yakov Smirnoff is about to make headlines again. Oh, and Vladimir Putin also brought back the KGB. No biggie. In a surprising move that…


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Libertarians Are Forgetting Who Gary Johnson Is

Just like most Libertarians, the porcupine they chose as their logo is prickly and generally prefers to stay alone.

As it holds true for their leadership, it is not surprising to find out that Libertarians, just like Gary Johnson, can’t remember fairly important things. First Gary Johnson didn’t know or remember what Aleppo is and now he can’t remember…


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Donald Trump To Be Most Expensive Jobber In WWE History

This election has us all in a submission move.

While Donald Trump has neglected to release his tax returns, our investigative unit has been leaving no stone unturned in order to procure some data to put together to really try to hash out the mess that is his finances.…


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The First 2016 Presidential Debate Was Terrifying

I don't think we even need to describe this photo.

If there is anything that has become more clear with the first presidential debate of 2016, it’s that Lester Holt has no upper lip. Thank goodness for closed captioning or else those with hearing difficulty would have no idea what the…


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Celebrities Comment On First Debate But We Ignore It

Washington DC - Where dreams of crushing other people's dreams come true.

As both Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump rear up to take charge and move head on through the first presidential debate of this election, everyone who’s anyone is now making their opinions and voices both heard and known. Celebrities, from…


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Prisoners Are On Strike, But You Don’t Care Because They’re Prisoners

And the flag was still there, because it had no possibility of parole.

In a surprising effort that shows that somehow prisoners have better communication with each other in different states than you did in your last, failed relationship, some 25,000 prisoners in about 29 prisons over 12 states have basically unionized. That’s…


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Clinton Vs. Trump Compared To Crab Vs. Shoe & Other Dumb Battles

This is just one of many battles we would rather watch than the upcoming debate.

There have been many classic debates and battles over the course of human history. The first televised presidential debate, between John F. Kennedy and Richard Nixon in 1960, is still fresh in our memories over 50 years later. Fights like Ali Vs…