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French Xenophobes Respond To Courts: “If Burkinis Are In, Beware Of T.I.Ts Out Situations”

Last week we told you about the situation when “France Banned Burkinis In Case Terrorists Decided To Go On Holiday.” Well, good news came Yesterday when the highest French court suspended the ban and said that the people who did…

  • Rene Rosa
  • August 28, 2016
  • Election

Gary Johnson’s SuperPAC Spends $1M On TV Ads, Forgets That People Don’t Watch Live TV

Gary Johnson Invites You To Feel His Johnson

If there is one thing we know about Libertarians, it’s that they are supposed to be very frugal about spending. Gary Johnson wants to get rid of federal funding for stem cell research. Gary Johnson wants to get rid of…

  • Rene Rosa
  • August 27, 2016
  • Science

Domino’s Perfects Attack Drones To Kill You, Still Sucks At Making Pizza

This drone is going to kill you.

Domino’s revealed their plan for world domination today, with a drone program that will most likely beat all major tech companies like Amazon and Google to the punch. They plan to start delivering pizzas via a drone launch that will…

  • Rene Rosa
  • August 26, 2016
  • Science, World News

American Hackers Upset Over Record High Outsourcing Of Hacktivism

You know he intends to do the world harm with his fingers by how he isn’t showing them to you.

While the altruistic deeds of groups like Anonymouse, WikiLeaks and Lizard Squad still leave a lot to be desired, the mantra seems to be the same: screw authority, take down big money and help out the little guy. While most…

  • Rene Rosa
  • August 25, 2016
  • Election

Mike Pence’s Only Major Headlines Are About His Haircut, Including This One

Nope, that’s not even Mike Pence getting a haircut because no one cares about him enough to have royalty free images of him.

After our exposé on how we found out that Mike Pence Is So Unloved And Unimportant That Royalty Free Photos Of Him Do Not Exist, we really expected him to shine through and give us more meat with our political potatoes.…

  • Rene Rosa
  • August 24, 2016
  • 1 Comment
  • Civil Rights, Religion, Scandals

Judge Reed O’Connor Begs For A Transgender Urine And Feces Bath

Who needs one of these when you can just pee and crap on a judge?

In a ruling that has shocked absolutely no one, Judge Reed O’Connor has implemented a temporary injunction that puts a halt to the directive implemented by President Obama on allowing transgendered students to use the bathroom of their choice. While…

  • Rene Rosa
  • August 23, 2016
  • Science

Anonymouse Attacks Federal Reserve Where It Doesn’t Really Hurt

We are Anonymouse. We are adorable. We do not leave our house. We are coming for the big cheese. Expect mice.

Stay-at-home keyboard warriors, Anonymouse, declared war on the Federal Reserve today. While many folks expected to see something out of the Mr. Robot Season 1 story arch, instead we were treated to reports of “not much of anything.” A barrage…

  • Rene Rosa
  • August 22, 2016
  • 1 Comment
  • Election

Popularity Of Dentists Increase As Donald Trump Becomes More Popular To Hate

Look how cool that dentist is, with all those comic book characters on her and shades for the kid? So cool. COOL.

In a nationwide survey of Americans, we gave a list of different people, professions and celebrities to choose who you hated the most. You answered and the response was staggering, shocking and actually not really all that shocking. In a…

  • Rene Rosa
  • August 21, 2016
  • Religion, Science

Climate Change Debunked By Republican Senator: “I Don’t Feel That Hot”

This is the Earth. This is the Earth on drugs. Any questions?

While NASA believes that we may be experiencing the hottest year in recorded history, as their midyear climate analysis shows, Republican Senator Jim Inhofe has said that he can prove, without a shadow of a doubt, that climate change/global warming…

  • Rene Rosa
  • August 20, 2016
  • Civil Rights, Sports

NFL Rejects Proposal For “Georgia Crackers” Team As “Racially Insensitive”

This Georgia Crackers helmet will never hit the field, but man, we absolutely love it’s authenticity!

While Native Americans petition the NFL to change the name and imagery of the Washington Redskins, a new team was rejected by the NFL for Georgia. Hailing from Stone Mountain, Georgia, the Georgia Crackers would have been a great new addition…

  • Rene Rosa
  • August 19, 2016
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