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February 1, 2023
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Tag: donald trump

Latest Polls Show That Pandering Will Lose This Election For Everyone

The way to a voter's heart is by taking a picture of you eating something that is stereotypically tied to your racial demographic.
First it was Hillary Clinton saying that she carries hot sauce with her everywhere she goes. Then...
Civil Rights, Election

Latinos For Trump Promises Taco Truck On Every Corner If Clinton Wins

A taco truck on every corner? Well, that just might get in record votes for Hillary Clinton.
Pro-tip: if you want to win an election, don’t make promises that favor your opposing candidate’s...
Civil Rights, Election, World News

Popularity Of Dentists Increase As Donald Trump Becomes More Popular To Hate

Look how cool that dentist is, with all those comic book characters on her and shades for the kid? So cool. COOL.
In a nationwide survey of Americans, we gave a list of different people, professions and celebrities...
Election

Major Terrorist Organizations To Use Sarcasm As Main Weapon If Trump Becomes President

It used to be that it was easy to tell who a terrorist was, but then they stopped wearing ski masks.
During a town hall meeting between the majority of the major terrorist organizations in the world,...
Election, Religion, World News

God Declares Self As Swing Voter: “I Have Not Chosen Either Of Them, No Matter What They Say!”

Apparently God is just some old dude with big, white balls.
On the campaign trail, before any voting is done, many presidential candidates will, at some point,...
Election, Religion

Mike Pence So Unloved And Unimportant That Royalty Free Photos Of Him Do Not Exist

Oh my goodness, look how cute those kittens are! Screw you, Mike Pence!
Sometimes you start your way towards one story and stumble upon something else. This is the...
Election, Science

Trump To Stop Watching Olympics Due To Injuries: “They were too exciting!”

Donald Trump With Marine Corps Foundation Commandants
Presidential Republican nominee, Donald Trump, has reportedly had to cease watching the rest of the Olympic...
Election, Sports, World News
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  • Stimulus Checks Halted To Print Tiny Trump Penis
  • You Can Call Trump A Boil-Infested, Shit-Eating Satan Baby And He Just Has To Take It
  • Fish-Human Hybrids Still Don't Exist
  • Priest Blames Pride Parade Photos For Facebook Downtime
  • What Happens If We Lose Net Neutrality?
  • Supreme Court Status Lowered To Inferior Court
  • Trump's Secret Soviet Past Tied To Gorky Park
  • Rotting Bag Of Cottage Cheese Thrown Out Of White House Two Weeks Ago But It Still Stinks
  • Trump and Kim Jong-un To Battle To The Death In Micro-Penis Sword-fight
  • Sean Spicer Resigns Thanks To Trump Hiring Gollum As Communications Director
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