Tag election


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Mike Pence Is A Replicant Android

Do Androids dream of 4 year term limits, the vice presidency and emotionless rhetoric?

Thanks to Mike Pence’s very robotic and emotionless response to a 12 year old girl asking about Donald Trump’s horrible words about women’s looks, we can now come to the conclusion that he would not pass the Voight-Kampff test. As…


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Republican Party Feared Dead At 162 Years Old

It puts the Trunk in Hoof and Trunk. Wait, you just got that now? Finally? Jesus.

At the ripe, old age of 162 years, it is feared that the Republican Party has passed away in it’s sleep. After a post-depression identity crisis, the Republican Party looked to be having a momentary lapse of judgment, but it…


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Government Asks George R.R. Martin To Rewrite Election So That Everyone Dies

The government wants a do-over, and one filled with lots of good deaths.

Just about everyone is tired, fed-up and done with this entire election cycle. It’s been called a joke, appalling, deplorable, embarrassing and a farce. Most people aren’t happy with the final choices of Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton and the…


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Media To Continue Releasing Maps Of Ridiculous Voter Scenarios

America isn't red white and blue, but the people sure were when we were killing all the Native Americans.

If you’ve been paying attention to the last few days worth of news, you’ll notice that many political outlets have been release hypothetical voting maps based on a varying array of demographics, using census data, poll information and probably lots…


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This Article Is Not About Donald Trump

So, some other things are happening that you're paying attention to while the house is burning.

Ah, yes, the circus that is the Presidential Election of 2016. I’ve got some good news for you: we’re not really going to talk much about that today. Today we’re going to talk about much happier things, like how China…


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Rats Fleeing Sinking Ship Offended By Comparison To GOP

Sink or swim? These rats are fleeing, fully clothed and on a boat, with dignity.

It really does take a lot to offend the sensibilities of a rat, but it has happened, and this time you can blame the media. Yes, the conspiracy theorists cries of “blame the media” are actually valid, as from one…


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Libertarians Are Forgetting Who Gary Johnson Is

Just like most Libertarians, the porcupine they chose as their logo is prickly and generally prefers to stay alone.

As it holds true for their leadership, it is not surprising to find out that Libertarians, just like Gary Johnson, can’t remember fairly important things. First Gary Johnson didn’t know or remember what Aleppo is and now he can’t remember…


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Celebrities Comment On First Debate But We Ignore It

Washington DC - Where dreams of crushing other people's dreams come true.

As both Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump rear up to take charge and move head on through the first presidential debate of this election, everyone who’s anyone is now making their opinions and voices both heard and known. Celebrities, from…