Monthly Archive: August 2016

Popularity Of Dentists Increase As Donald Trump Becomes More Popular To Hate

Look how cool that dentist is, with all those comic book characters on her and shades for the kid? So cool. COOL.

In a nationwide survey of Americans, we gave a list of different people, professions and celebrities to choose who you hated the most. You answered and the response was...

Climate Change Debunked By Republican Senator: “I Don’t Feel That Hot”

This is the Earth. This is the Earth on drugs. Any questions?

While NASA believes that we may be experiencing the hottest year in recorded history, as their midyear climate analysis shows, Republican Senator Jim Inhofe has said that he can...

NFL Rejects Proposal For “Georgia Crackers” Team As “Racially Insensitive”

This Georgia Crackers helmet will never hit the field, but man, we absolutely love it’s authenticity!

While Native Americans petition the NFL to change the name and imagery of the Washington Redskins, a new team was rejected by the NFL for Georgia. Hailing from Stone...

France Bans Burkinis In Case Terrorists Decide To Go On Holiday

A group of women enjoy their time on a boat… even the Muslim woman is having fun. Isn’t that wild?

In a move that most people don’t even know how to respond to, five towns in France have banned the “burkini” which is a full-body bathing suit worn by...

National Food Poisoning Epidemic Turns Out To Be Distaste Over Current Political Climate

If you think you feel sick now, wait till the debates start.

The CDC has released some information that many will find troubling and potentially disheartening. As many strains of sickness have seemed to affect millions, from coast to coast, the...

Major Terrorist Organizations To Use Sarcasm As Main Weapon If Trump Becomes President

It used to be that it was easy to tell who a terrorist was, but then they stopped wearing ski masks.

During a town hall meeting between the majority of the major terrorist organizations in the world, quite a few line items were discussed, last night. One of the biggest...

God Declares Self As Swing Voter: “I Have Not Chosen Either Of Them, No Matter What They Say!”

On the campaign trail, before any voting is done, many presidential candidates will, at some point, claim that they are God’s choice as the next President of the United...

Mike Pence So Unloved And Unimportant That Royalty Free Photos Of Him Do Not Exist

Oh my goodness, look how cute those kittens are! Screw you, Mike Pence!

Sometimes you start your way towards one story and stumble upon something else. This is the earmark of good, old fashioned American journalism. The best and most hard nosed...

Armed Voters To Be Allowed At All Polling Locations This Fall

Bring your sexy ass there to vote.

In a stunning decision, the US Government has decided to allowed armed voters at all polling locations in the forthcoming general election. This surprising announcement has made a shock...

Hillary Clinton Releases Tax Returns, Reveals Ties To Potential Hate Groups and Terrorist Organizations

Hillary Clinton

To the surprise of many, mostly those who haven’t paying attention the last 39 years, Hillary Clinton has released her tax returns with some surprising information intact. While one...