Scandals

Donald Trump Mistakenly Tweets Nuclear Arming Code “Covfefe”

This mushroom cloud might represent the sate of the USA in a few months.

Everyday, President Donald Trump manages to surprise us with a new social networking low, whether it be cursing out a celebrity, complaining about the news or posting photos of...

ISIS Claims Responsibility For Trump And Other Tragedies

Responsibility: it comes with great power.

The Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIL) also known as the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS), or the Islamic State (IS), and by its Arabic...

US Launches 59 Missiles Loaded With Pepsi At Syria

Pepsi: Die For Now!

While most people associate Mountain Dew to be the beverage of extremism, the USA has launched an attack on a Syrian air base using 59 Tomahawk missiles loaded to...

A Bunch Of Dicks Vote To Make Life Harder For Vaginas

The heroic volunteers of Planned Parenthood

While the gaggle of overall dicks that makes up the Senate were split 50/50 on a bill set to make the existence of Planned Parenthood a thing of the...

Paul Ryan Vows To Destroy The Healthcare System

Paul Ryan hopes to feast on our carcasses.

So… sometimes you sit down to write something and then you just give up and decide not to write anything at all because… well, this happened:

Donald Trump To Lower Taxes By Letting Everyone Die

President Trump waves off the sick and poor, waiting for them to simply die off.

In an surprising move towards some legitimate transparency, The White House has released some information about the next changes to healthcare and regulations in the country which are designed...

5 Things We’re Surprised We Didn’t Find In Mike Pence’s E-Mails

Fear this man, for he will be the ruination of your soul.

As you may have heard, Mike Pence was using a private e-mail address for work and was phished out of his information in some ridiculous scheme reminiscent of the...

Donald Trump Won’t Go To The White House Correspondents’ Dinner Because He’s A Punk-Ass Bitch

No hope in this great, white dope.

One might remember that now-President Donald Trump was once verbally sterilized by Seth Meyers and President Barack Obama back in 2011 at the White House Correspondent’s Dinner. The thin-skinned,...

Hedorah The Smog Monster Confirmed To Head EPA

Hedorah The Smog Monster

The Senate confirmed Hedorah, The Smog MonsterĀ on Friday to run the Environmental Protection Agency, putting a seasoned opponent of nature, cleanliness and renewable resources at the helm of President...

Kellyanne Conway Confirmed To Be From Alternate Universe Constantly Stuck In Opposite Day

Kellyanne Conway takes a walk in the park.

Kellyanne Conway has said a lot of questionable things, including flat out lies and made up events she calls “alternative facts,” but what if they really are all true?...